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爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話是近幾年出現(xiàn)的一個新詞,也是一種出現(xiàn)在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現(xiàn)象,它具有強大的生命力,一時間大紅大紫。小編精心收集了爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!

爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇1

　　A school report

　　學校成績單

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(憤怒的) as he read,

　　父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學校成績單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

　　“英語，差;法語，差;數(shù)學，中�！彼麉拹旱仄沉嗽诎l(fā)抖的兒子一眼。

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優(yōu)。”

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇2

　　A Smart Parrot

　　聰明的鸚鵡

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那里，他看見有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對此他感到不解，于是他問該店的老板，老板回答說：“這只鸚鵡受過特殊的訓練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語�！�

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　這個好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎么樣呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說。

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇3

　　Clever Bobby

　　聰明的博比

　　Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

　　布朗非常欣賞他的.小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。布朗說：“他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看�！�

　　"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

　　布朗說：“他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看�！�

　　He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe(長頸鹿).

　　他從書架上拿下一本自然書，把博比抱到膝上，打開書。指著一張長頸鹿的畫片。

　　"What's that, Bobby?"

　　“博比，這是什么?”

　　"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

　　“馬馬，”博比回答。他又指了一張老虎的畫片，博比回答說：“貓咪。” 然后布朗又指了一張獅子的畫片，博比說：“狗狗�！� 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫片，博比說：“爸爸!”

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇4

　　While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(煩躁，發(fā)牢騷) andjabbering(快而含糊地說) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.

　　The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."

　　有個人生病了。他的妻子請了一位醫(yī)生來給他治病。

　　醫(yī)生在給他治療的時候，他的妻子一直大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫(yī)生對她說：“你的丈夫必須絕對休息和保持安靜�！� 然后他就留下了一些。

　　她問醫(yī)生：“什么時候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫(yī)生回答說：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要�！�

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇5

　　While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.

　　在購買我的第一部CD唱機時，我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的大多數(shù)技術(shù)語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗為迷惑，于是我叫過銷售商，問道：‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她說，這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數(shù)字信息，將它轉(zhuǎn)換成聲音信息-也就是說，轉(zhuǎn)換成音樂。換句話說，這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇6

　　At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones.""To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."

　　在一次晚餐聚會上，一位靦腆的年青人一直在冥思苦想對女主人說一些好聽的話。機會總于來了，女主人轉(zhuǎn)向他說：“瓊斯先生，您今晚的飯量太小了。”“坐在您身邊，”他殷勤的說道，“任何男人都會失去胃口的。”

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇7

　　The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人，主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹，涂料) of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.

　　一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現(xiàn)了問題。霍迪斯發(fā)現(xiàn)，完成這幅畫后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當作品完成之后，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經(jīng)渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?/p>

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇8

　　尷尬

　　My parents' tour leader asked everyone to put their large suitcases outside their hotel rooms at bed time so the bus could be loaded for an early departure the next morning. Mom laid out their travelling clothes，repacked their things，took out her hearing aid and went to bed. Dad stepped into the hall to line up their luggage and the door clicked shut behind him，leaving him there in only his underwear.

　　我父母的導游負責人讓大家在晚上睡覺前把箱子放在飯店的房門外。這樣，化們可以在次日的凌晨早裝車，早出發(fā)。媽媽鋪開了旅行時穿的衣服，重新打了包。取下了助聽器睡覺去了。爸爸要去大廳放行李，門咔嚓一下在他身后撞上了。他只穿著內(nèi)褲，束手無策。

　　"It sure was embarrassing，“he told us later.”Your mother couldn't hear me，so I had to go downstairs and across the street to the office to get another key.”

　　他事后告訴我們:“我的確很尷尬。你媽媽她又聽不見，沒辦法，我只好下樓穿過街到辦公室去要另一把鑰匙�！�

　　"But, Grandpa.”our son piped up.”What about the clothes in the suitcase you put in the hall?"

　　“但是，爺爺，”我們的兒子說:“那么你為什么不穿放在大廳的箱子里的衣服呢?”

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇9

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走�！�

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走�！�

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過�！�

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇10

　　Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.

　　One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

　　我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。只要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，并激動地說：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。

　　一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇11

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個例子：有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么? 一個女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇12

　　Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.

　　Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

　　Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

　　維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的爸爸是更強壯的一個。維爾說：“你知道太平洋嗎?那個坑是我爸爸挖的。”

　　比爾不屑地說：“那沒什么。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的�！�

　　爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯篇13

　　Returning from a golf outing(遠足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?

　　Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答復(fù)) . We just play to have fun.

　　Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?

　　丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?

　　我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。

　　莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?