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最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話
生活中怎么能少了笑話來調味一下我們乏味枯燥的日常呢?一則搞笑的小笑話就能讓我們原本苦惱的心情立刻變得像春天的鮮花一樣燦爛，小編為你準備了非常搞笑的英語笑話，希望你的生活像夏日的陽光一樣!
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 1
Are Flies Yummy?
Tony and his father are eating dinner.
Suddenly Tony asks his father, "Dad, are flies yummy?"
Dad frowns and says, "No, I think its yucky. Why do you ask me this question? Its a silly question."
But Tony says, "There was one fly in your plate."
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
突然，托尼問他的爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎?”
爸爸皺眉說：“我想不好吃。你怎么會問這個問題?這可是一個愚蠢的問題�！�
可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅�！�
最搞笑的`愚人節(jié)英語笑話 2
Where are the tails? 尾巴哪去了?
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours, then he started again, and said he: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question -- if we had tails like a baboon1, where are they?"
"Ill venture an answer," said an old lady, "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
教進化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的'話題又來了：“讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經(jīng)像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了?”
“我來試試看，”一位老太太說， “該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 3
It Must Be Crowded 一定很擁擠
A teacher is telling his students, "The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there."
And a boy laughs and says, "It must get crowded when its a crescent moon."
一位告訴學生：“月亮非常大，上面能住幾百人�！�
一個男孩笑著說：“當月亮變成月牙的`時候，住在上面的人該多擁擠啊!”
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 4
a guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan。
he asks, "what was that for?"
she says, "i found a piece of paper in your pocket with betty sue written on it."
he says, "jeez, honey, betty sue was the name of the horse i bet on." she shrugs and walks away。
three days later hes reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan。
he asks, "what was that for?"
she answers, "your horse called."
一個家伙正在看報紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問道：“這是為什么?”她說：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫有‘betty sue’的紙條。”他說：“哎呀，親愛的，‘betty sue’是我賭的那匹馬的'名字�！彼柫寺柤�，走了。三天后他正在看報紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問：“這又是為什么?”她答道：“你的馬打電話來了。”
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 5
a man was hit by a cab in the street. he was brought to the hospital。
his wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "i think that he is very ill."
"i am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。
hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "i"m not dead. i"m still alive."
"be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害�！�
醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”
聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”
妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多�！�
最搞笑的`愚人節(jié)英語笑話 6
one day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. the city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. the city man said to the farmer," i see that your pig likes apples, but isnt that quite a waste of time?" the farmer replied," whats time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的
蘋果。城里人對農(nóng)夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫回答說，"時間對豬有什么意義?"
will and bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. will said, “well, you know the pacific ocean ? my fathers the one who dug the hole for it�！�
bill wasnt impressed, “well, thats nothing. you know the dead sea ? my fathers the one who killed it!”
威爾和比爾在為誰的.父親更強壯而爭吵。威爾說：“喏，你知道太平洋嗎?就是我爸爸為它挖的洞�！�
比爾不屑一顧：“噢，那沒什么。你知道死海嗎?那是我爸爸殺死的�！�
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 7
"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個小時跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的.。”
Whos More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
誰更有禮貌?
一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經(jīng)常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什么時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 8
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我沒有睡著
當一群婦女上車之后，車上的.座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”
“我沒有睡著�！蹦莻�男人回答。
“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已�！�
最搞笑的愚人節(jié)英語笑話 9
Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂貴的代價
牙科醫(yī)生：對不起，夫人，為給您的.兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?
牙科醫(yī)生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了
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